Faster, Faster

Sometimes, I just don’t know. Life spins around me. Faster and faster.

It leaves me standing still as everything blurs past. Leaving me alone and confused. I search for my purpose – something to hold onto – as everything whips away from my grasp.

There comes a time… When instead of looking for something to hold onto, you need to let it go. Let it swirl on past – watch as it blows away – lost as it leaves your sight. Gone like the past. Let go of the things you once wanted and held onto for far too long.

I held onto that piece for so long. I hoped that it would spin once more in my direction. Hoping – that one day our paths would cross again. But that left my door open. It let the debris fall in as life continued to spin.

Faster, faster. 

I was patient. Biding the moment when perhaps, you would blow into my life. Watching as life continued – never letting go – never wanting more.

It happened in the cold of the winter. You were as frozen as the season. Full of conflict and anger. You stepped out from the turmoil that spun around me, settling back into my consciousness. 

You were here. 

You were mine. 

Together, we wrestled the debris that blew into our lives from the years prior. We hid from the wind that had stripped us of our innocence and left us cold. I let my guard fall, letting the idea of love consume me. The tornado had blown us together again… But how long until you were swept away once more.

No. The door was locked. The time was now.

Spring began to melt the ice – but you stayed frozen – refusing to thaw with the surroundings. You were cold and dark. Lost in the idea of standing still, I barely noticed as you slipped out the door. Back into the world around me.

Faster, faster – it spun on. Spinning you away until you were gone. Again. The door had never been locked.

Spring was here – but I could barely feel its warmth – for I was cold. Life had once again left me behind. Leaving me. Taking a piece of me away. The hole was there, and I was so cold.  

What now? Close the door?

No. 

Break it – step into the whirlwinds – joining the turmoil that spins me.

Faster, faster. 

Will I find you again? 

No.

For my door is gone. Life spins on – faster, faster.